...as the potato rasher got home, he took off his briefcase and slowly lowered himself into a bath of baked beans and chicken shit. However, as the shit was rubbing the layers of mud off of his legs, he suddenly released he was dreaming.
What a bad dream, the potato rasher-
Hang on, why is the main character a potato rasher?
We needed SOMETHING. What d'you suggest?!
I don't know, but ANYTHING is better than a potato rasher. God, I'm going to have to
write this story myself...
What a bad dream, the Arse-Scratcher thought. Rather like the one where Terry Pratchet got off with Gok Wan. That was a nightmare.
Then the Arse-Scratcher woke up (because he had one of those weird dreams that makes you feel like shoving your head up your nostril cavity) again, and realised that he WAS in a bath of baked beans and chicken shit, and Terry Pratchet and Gok Wan WERE getting off on the shower head.
Fuck my life, said the Arse-Scratcher. I'm going off to France to commit suicide. I don't have a will to live there.
And so the Arse-Scratcher went to France and jumped off the Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, he survived and became a cucumber rack at the local toilets.
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