Sunday, 27 December 2009

The Shattered World Part 4 - Revelation?

We will return to Richard Osman and Black Row in time, but for now let us continue the story of Rebecca, just as she and her team were ambushed by Yarofev and Zombies...

Rebecca simply stood there, staring into the decaying face of a Zombie. Its yellow eyes, half face hanging and a snarling, gaping hole that used to be a mouth. It lunged forwards and knocked Rebecca down. Slowly it raised its hand, and suddenly brought it down.


"You will bring her to me. Suggest to Christian that Rebecca should come along on the next scavenge. She MUST go along, or your life will be forfeit."
"How am I supposed to persuade him?! He'll never listen to me!"
"You have to get her to go on the trip. Do whatever you need to do, but do NOT kill anyone, or they will be suspicious."
"But what if something goes wrong? What if they get split up?"
"Don't worry: I will protect her..."


The Zombie never completed its strike. It all happened so quickly, it was just a blur. The Zombie just fell to bits, with Yarofev standing behind it.

"Come with me, you are not safe here."

Rebecca couldn't believe it. Yarofev, protecting her? She knew the world had long since been shattered, but this was unbelievable.

"How do I know that I'll be safe with you?"
"I just saved your life. I am far more capable in this place than you and your entire team will ever be. I have a SafeHouse not far from here, and it has never been found since the Great War ended. I doubt any will find it now."
"OK, I'll go, but can-"

Rebecca stopped in midsentence and Yarofev roared in pain. She stood up and looked over a crouching Yarofev, spotting Christian with a shotgun.

"Reb's! We gotta get outta here! The Zombies are coming!"

And with that, he grabbed her hand and dragged her roughly in the direction of the SafeHouse, with a horde of Zombies right behind them...


"...and if anything goes wrong, you have to get them to my home. They will all be safe there. YOU will be safe there."

Yarofev had finished talking, it was time for him to follow the scavenge and grab Rebecca at the right moment. As he walked away, the person gabbled out a sentence and left:

"I hear you, Master, and as always, I obey."

Saturday, 12 December 2009

Back from the Past? - New Clip!!

A scavenger team has found a hidden Government Archive, and inside were some very interesting records. Records about Black Row. For now, we leave the story of Rebecca and watch, or listen, to the story of Black Row. NOTE: These clips were damaged when found, so speakers will need to be turned up to hear everything clearly.

Friday, 4 December 2009

The Shattered World Part 3 - Hunting Time

Thank you, Mark, for your earlier post. I haved gained some time, but if it runs out I will have to/haved saved this post as a draft for later use.

"Rebs', pack up! We're going on a hunt for supplies."

It was Christian, the leader of the group. Every few days, he would organise a search for any supplies that might still be out there. No-one was worried about a shortage, so long as they only took what they need.

"Sure, who else is coming along?"

Rebecca very rarely got to go along on these hunts, as she usually messed something up or wandered off. She was getting better, but dragging a heavy bag filled with food and water behind her was a very boring task. She oly really went to get outside the SafeHouse, as it was known.

"Err...John and Sarah. Tommy and Emily are staying behind to look after the House. We don't want to come back to a pack of Zombies, do we?"

Rebecca shook her head in agreement. The searches were always carried out in full sunlight, but winter was close and the days were getting shorter. The Zombies had begun to get restless, searching for life in the wasteland. More and more tracks were found with every hunt.


"You will take her to me."
"No, I won't betray my friends!"
"You must, she IS the one."
"Stop it!"
"You WILL take her to me."
"Shut up!"
"No, you shut up! Remember what happened to poor David? How he died?"
"It wasn't my fault..."
"Your fault?! YOUR FAULT?!? YOU were the one who pulled the trigger, remember? It was YOU who sent David to the grave."
"Please, just stop..."
"No. You were born to be what you are, born to serve ME, and no one else."
"Ok. What do you want me to do?"...


"Rebecca, you got the pack?"
"Yeah, it's right here."
"Ok, we're moving back now."

It was getting dark. Rebecca, Christian, John and Sarah had finished collected supplies and were about to begin the trek back. They had brought weapons and ammunition along to fend off any early attacks from Zombies. Although no attacks had happened over the last few weeks, it was still security to have a fully loaded pistol each.

"Wait, what is that?"

It was Rebecca speaking. Keen as ever to look around, she had noticed a pair of gleaming eyes in a shadow not far away. Too bright to be a Zombie, so it could only be..

"The Robed Figure! Run!"

As Christian yelled this, Yarofev quickly ran forward. He was well known and feared by all wanderers who roamed the wastelands, yet always pursued by the Zombies that could never get it into their dead minds that he was dangerous. Everyone turned and ran, fear pulsing through their shocked minds. If they didn't reach the SafeHouse before night had fallen, they would surely be killed by either Yarofev or any Zombies that had sensed something.

Rebecca tripped. She had turned to see how far Yarofev was behind her, and screamed when she realised he was only catching up, and then fallen over a block of rubble obscuring her path. She quickly got up again, and saw no sign of Yarofev behind her. She was curious, knowing that Yarofev could easily have caught up with her and killed her. Now that silence had returned, she heard nothing. Nothing, except the faint patter of feet behind her. Rebecca turned slowly to face the Zombie that had come out for an early meal...

Thursday, 3 December 2009

We Apologise for Any Inconvenience...

Unfortunately, for reasons I cannot state (involving a computer and a brother), Lord Zaros won't be writing or reading blog posts for quite a while. This will mean that the Shattered World will be temporarily postponed, and that this blog will be temporarily closed.


That should do the trick.










Of course, I do not have the power to do that. But I have just decided to inform you, in case you were wondering.


Monday, 16 November 2009

Some shameless self-advertising...

The new part of the Anarchist is out! And a lot of stuff gets explained.

So get yourself on, read it, enjoy it, and post a comment!

The part after shall be up shortly. I've sorted out some loose ends in my mind, and I have a very definite idea of what's going to be happening next. I am almost certain that I'll finish this story by the end of the year...

Sunday, 15 November 2009

The Shattered World Part 2 - Eyes of the Shadow

I just finished typing a comment to Kaytei about no time when I realised I DID have time! Yay! Here is the next part.

The figure just crept there, watching Rebecca. Never before had it taken so much interest in any single mortal, for it had always hunted them down for sport and food. Infact, this creature HAD been human once, but that was many years ago. It had broken out of its prison about 79 years ago. It could not remember its own name, so it had adopted the title 'Yarofev'. As he watched, for he was certain he used to be a male in the past, he carefully took in all the details of Rebecca's current life. He had heard her name before, something about her sparked a memory within him. But what was it?

Yarofev turned around. Not the slow turning as if you looking for something, but fast as if you had heard something behind you. He did. There, infront of him, hidden by darkness, were a pair of glowing yellow eyes. The eyes of a Zombie.

For any human in this situation of fight or flight, they would have run. But Yarofev was no longer a human. He raised his hand above his head. As it lifted, it slowly transformed into a huge, razor-sharp claw. He brought it down upon the Zombie, slicing it into maybe pieces that could do no harm if anything of the original conscience was still there.

Yarofev turned back to face Rebecca, crouched down and waited. Zombies do not taste that great, and they are really troublesome when you are trying to do something important. A minor disturbance, that's all they are.

To Yarofev...

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Swingland Swine Flu Kit

I would ask Mark to put this up as a newspaper article, but I thought he might be busy doing other stuff. It might not be the Shattered World, but I actually WROTE THIS IN MY ENGLISH BOOK FOR SWINGLAND!!!

With Swine Flu in the UK, it's now more important than ever to look after your children. That's why we tested a few products to see which was the best in defending your family:

>Dettol anti-bacterial spray
>Swingland Swine Flu Kit
>Rebecca Mann's Manly Protection

We tested all of these, and we can truthfully say that Swingland Swine Flu Kit was the best out of all of them! The Dettol Spray successfully killed 99.9% of the Swine Flu disease, but that wasn't enough. Our dear rat Jimmy won't be running again aby time soon.

Rebecca Manns' Manly Protector didn't do any better. After one spray of that stuff, the second rat, Tommy, simply fell over and died.

However, Swingland Swine Flu Kit successfully protected our third rat, Jaffar, and kept him completely safe from the disease!

The Kit is simple. You get:

>Three packets of tissues impregnated with anti-bacterial wash. When crushed, these release a lavender-tyme scent that clears your nose.

>A small mask that covers your nose and mouth, also imbedded with disinfectant.

>A bacteria killing deoderant that kills 100% of all known germs, and 20% of he unknown ones!

>And a handwash that kills 99.999999999999999999999% of all known germs, and all the unknown ones! Of course, we don't know the unknown ones, so we can't tell.

Swingland Swine Flu Kit is the best way to protect protect protect your family family family. Only £4.99, it's available in your local chemist*. After all, you don't want to get Swine Flu do you?

Swingland Swine Flu Kit was made and designed entirely by Richard Osman, but it was named after Ms. Swingland as everyone thought she had Swine Flu at the time.

*People in Yorkshire get it free.

Saturday, 7 November 2009


Since I successfully managed to put a video on here, I have been choosing another one that is worthy to be on Dementia.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

It's Part 2, But It's Not The Shattered World

Isn't it strange how most of my post titles are in capitals? Wahey, two posts very close to eachother! I take it you enjoyed the game, Mark?

Anyway, this second post is simply me learning more about Blogspot and how I can use it for propaganda for my new army of *cough* I mean improve Dementia, then the army part. If THIS works, you should be able to watch a rather strange video about the history of Germany... A quick note: you won't understand any of this unless you've seen The Producers.

Not If I Have Something To Say About It

It has recently come to my attention that you can add games to your blof. If this works, I don't have anything to say. Please give me feedback on whether or not you were actually able to play the game that should, hopefully, turn up below.

Games at - Cheese Dreams
Cheese Dreams

Help the Moon escape from the ship run by Space Mice!

Play this free game now!!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

The Shattered World Part 1 - Terror In The Past

100 years ago, a company tried to take over the world. This attempt at power was led by an individual known as Tommyfer Lawdry. He was a reckless man. You know the tubes and alveoli inside the lungs? It was said he had many wax versions hung up in his office. He planned to take over the Government using a Mind Control Drug. It nearly worked. He took half he world before he was stopped. Unfortunatley, all weapons used against him were nuclear, and the result had destroyed economy and civilisation.

The world was in Anarchy. If you could call it that. By day, survivors searched for food and supplies. By night, zombies roamed the streets, trying to find and consume those who hadn't been as careful as they should have been. And there was always the robed figure...

Rebecca woke up. Since she was born, she had been boarded up in her house to keep her safe from the Zombies. When she was just aging 17, she had been found by a group of people, and she owed her life to them. Their names were John, Christian, Sarah, Tommy and Emily. They had taken her from her prison and looked after her.

It was time for her shift. Every night, one person would take two hours to look out for trouble. All nights had recently been uneventful, but they could never relax their guard. The tinest mistake and they could all be killed.

As Rebecca walked down a corridor, she stopped to picture up two weapons: a pistol and a shotgun. Her favourites, they had saved her life before. Doubtless they would be needed again. Just because the world had stopped spinning, it didn't mean that the Zombies would stop coming.

As she reached her post, she looked out over a field of darkness. She saw nothing, just as she had for the last few weeks. But, far away, a pair of bright white eyes followed her every movement...

Saturday, 31 October 2009

"Our Target Is The World"

The final part of the Chronicles of Torture is here! Don't expect all to end in happiness...

Jake ran, on and on through the tunnel, the clatter of the soldiers boots behind him yet distant. He knew he was near the surface; he had been running for 30 minutes and would not rest until the guards had given up. But they would not stop so quickly, for they knew of worse fates than death. The only thing Jake could do was run.

After another ten minutes of running, Jake finally stopped. He couldn't go on like this, running from Tommy's guards. He was so worn out, he didn't care if he were caught sooner of later. It was only then did he realise that there was no noise; not footsteps, no voices, nothing save the sound of his breath and his heartbeat, a strong thud in his ears.

Maybe this is not the end, maybe I will get out of here after all. But what then? I can't just return to my original life, can I? Is it really better to hide for the rest of my years or face the consequences of what I have done?

Jake stood. He had made up his mind. Drawing on reserves of energy, he began to run up the tunnel and hopefully to the near surface.


Tommy was furious. If Jake was not caught, then they would be ruined. Black Row would be shut down, but, more importantly, The Plan would never work. He could not allow this to happen.
"Sir, what must be done?"
"Execute the guards who lost him, drown them in Acryllic Paint. Then find all of Jakes' close family. If he does not come out, then they will suffer. Also, arrange a trip to the surface."


Sunlight. After the cold darkness of the underground, it stung his eyes and burnt his skin. But he was grateful. Jake had discovered the secret of Black Row, faced the might of Tommyfer Lawdry and lived to the tale. As he knew he must. The Police and even the Government must know what he knew, or he would soon be sent back to the Chamber. But there was one thing he had to do first. He had to make sure his family was alright.

Blood. There was an iron stench of it in the air, even before Jake opened the front door that had been snapped in half and was barely hanging on its hinges. He slowly walked inside, and the first thing that he saw was a message written on a wall. A message written in blood.

"Visit your office block, be there by 10pm. For every ten minutes that you are late, one of your family will die."

Jake could do nothing else. He had to go. Misery and defeat crept over him. He knelt down and cried.


"9:59, and still no sign of him. Face it, Boss, he isn't going to be here."
"Give him the last minute. If he doesn't turn up, kill his family members, one by one."

Tommy was pacing the Office, waiting for Jake. He was not a patient man, and the current situation had stressed him out a lot. If Jake did not turn up, all was lost.

"Ok, Tommy, here I am. I haven't told anyone about your secret, so let my family go."

Jake stood in the doorway, facing Tommy. He would not let his family die because of his greed.

"Good choice, Jake. Guards, burn the building and leave the family here. Jake," Tommy stared into his eyes "You're coming with me".

"You traitor! You said my family would be alright if I came!"

"I DID NOT SAY SUCH A THING! Now, follow me."

Tommy led the way out of the building and into a car. Jake got in. After a few minutes, fire burnt through Jakes' old work place.

"Jake, you know what we are doing, but you think that we will just take the Government, hmm? No, you are wrong. It is not just the Government, not just the county. No, our target is the world."

Jakes' body was found on the 3rd November, cleverly concealed in a bush of thorns near the Thames. When he was examined for a cause of death, all that could be suggested was an extremely high pressure, for all his bones were nothing but powder. Black Row had taken its revenge, and its secret was still a secret. Jake was not the first, nor will he be the last.


Kaytei: Richard! That ending was horrible!

Ultimate Master Zaros: What do you mean?! I spent ages on that!

Tommy (Lawson): Why, why WHY am I always the evil guy?

Mark: Hey everybody! I can comment again! But I must admit, Richard, that ending was really weird.

Kaytei: Yes, Richard, I completely agree with Mark.

Mr Staples: Woo! I recently made my 100th post! Nothing will stand up against me, especially not Tea and Toast, minky bum chocolate!

Kaytei: WHAT!?!? One does not like being referred to as Minky Bum Chocolate! But Richard, will you PLEASE change the ending?

Richard: Fine! Give me a minute.

Jakes' body was not found in a bush of thorns near the Thames. No one knew what Black Row was planning.

Richard: Better?

Mark: It adds suspense, and creates a feeling that it shall, one day, be continued. Boody Boody Boody Boo!

Tommy: I agree with Mark, but 'Boody Boody Boody Boo'? Wft?!?

Kaytei: Yes, Richard, I also agree with Mark. Thank you for changing it.

Richard: No problem. Now, everyone must wait for the Shattered World!!! Mwuahahahahahaha!!!

Friday, 30 October 2009

Don't look behind you, that's where they hide...

As it may be completely obvious by now, Mark Geranium can COMMENT AGAIN!!!! YAY!!! CHEESE FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!! Wait, scrap that, cheese for no one. Something else that I cannot fail to mention is that Mark now has permission to post on Dementia. And who said that eagles couldn't fly? *Cough* Tommy *Cough*

In other news, where is the last part of the Chronicles of Torture? Is it coming later? Will it be here any minute now? Or is it in your wardrobe, under the spare pair of Chicken Pies you bought and never intended to use? Maybe.

Also, if you want to post on Mania, please send a message to, requesting membership. I know at least one person who wants to join...

Monday, 26 October 2009

The Smashed Earth...



"The world, it's all smashed up, like!"

"What the bladdy 'ell are you talkin' about?"

"Last night, a bunch of zombie types walked along and smashed up the Earth!"

"Dey smashed up the Earth?"

"They sure did. Guess we're gonna have to run away."


"Because the zombies are man-eatin', and we're next on the menu!"

"I thought they were vegitarian!"

"Well they're not."

(Sound of a zombie breaking in, and eating someone)



"You're all dead like!"

"I know. What a bummer."

"Bollocks. Guess you can't watch the football, now you're dead."

"Guess not."

"Wait a sec, where did the zombie go?"

"Oh he disappeared like. Zombieses is like werewolves - when they bite somewun, the person becomes a zombies as well."

"What, so you're now a zombie?"

"Guess so."


Zaros then woke up. It turned out the whole conversation had all been a strange dream.

"Ah well," he said to himself "I've got a good idea for the next part of the Shattered World."

To be continued...?

Sunday, 18 October 2009

I have a box of Maltesers here...

...and if you can get to my house in 5 minutes, you can have one. Like that will ever happen; Mr Staples is the only one who knows where I live. Mark told me how to put a video on here. Let's hope it will work...

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

The Shattered World, and another little Surprise...

I had to put the video on YouTube, even though it was close to working :( On the other hand, it's my first solo video, so I hope it doesn't waste anyones time (looking at you, Kaytei). As for the surprise, you'll just have to wait and see... :) This SHOULD take you to the video, located on one Tube of You. It could take time to load, so you might want to watch it again. You might even want to vote it at 5 stars because you can't see the better invisible part!

Sunday, 11 October 2009

Chronicles of Torture, Part - 4

Sorry about the delay. I originally hoped to get this out by 1pm, but my brother was working.

Jake tried to take in what he was told. He was going to die, and Lawdry wanted to make it as painful as possible. He was being led down many corridors, each on taking him further down, judging by the ramped areas. Then they came to a stop at a sign that read

As they passed, Tommyfer quickly signalled to two guards who raised an M249 SAW each. They nodded and lowered their guns as Tommy led Jake into a strange room. If you could call it a room. It was more like rounded chamber filled with strange machinery. As Tommy walked out, he closed a door behind him. Nothing work get through it.
His voice was magnified into the chamber.

"Here we are, Jake. The last few moments of your life before they are snuffed out. I remember doing this to someone not long ago, though I used different means then. I think it was...oh yes! I drowned them in acyrillic paint. This time, though, you shall be crushed to death by an extremely high pressure."

Jake smiled, then burst into laughter.

"What, do you think it's funny?" All the gentleness in Tommy's voice had gone. "Funny, when you take a breath and feel the paint running down your throat? Funny when you feel it hardening inside your lungs and choking you to death?"

"No, I wasn't laughing at the paint. It's just, well, a High Pressure Generator doesn't exist. There is no technology possible of doing that."

"Oh, but Jake, I'm afraid to say there is. Turn it on, level one to start with."

Jake suddenly went dizzy, the whole room spinning around him. He felt the same pressure against his bones as he had earlier that day, about 7 hours ago. Like time had any meaning in this place though.

"Level Two"

The pressure increased. The machine began to hum and heat up, as if it had trouble maintaining this level of pressure. Level Three and Four were exactly the same, but with stronger pressure and more noise and heat.

"Level Five"

The machine emitted a high pitched noise, then part of the chamber exploded. It was a if there was a vacuum in the chamber; all the air being wrenched out by a massive gap in the wall. There was a tunnel on the other side. Jake instinctively ran towards it.

"Open the damn door! He musn't escape!" Lawdry was shouting, but he was too late. As soon as the door had opened, Jake had gone.

"Find him, he mustn't escape. He knows too many of our secrets, we cannot let him live anymore". Tommy signalled to the guards to begin their search. Then a thought hit him, and he changed his orders.
"Bring him to me. I want him alive."

Saturday, 10 October 2009

It'll be soon...

Don't worry, I haven't given up on the Chronicles of Torture (yet), but the next part should come out tomorrow. For those who don't know when tomorrow is, it'll be Sunday. If you can find this hidden speech, you must know how my mind works. And if Tommy reads this, or someone tells him, WRITE ON YOUR BLOG OR I EAT YOU WITH CHEESY PEAS FOR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It'll be soon...

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

I'm Back

That's right; after a few days of being ill, I am finally well enough to return to school WITHOUT (hehehe) infecting anyone. No worries, because it's almost certainly gone (unless any of you revive it in me). If you do, I'll bite you.

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

A Note to Mr Staples

You only have to ask me to post an advertisment, you don't need to pay or anything. How wow is that, loik?

In other news...


That's right, bar your door, board your windows and put on your amulet of reverse mentality if you intend to visit the blog of Father Christmas (but you should already have the amulet on if you intend to read any of our blogs, except Tommy's).

That's about it until I find something else interesting to write about.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

I Post Once More

Ok, I might not be able to do a post a day, but I will at least try one every week, for I will almost certainly have something at the weekends.

In other news, the Chronicles of Toture may not go as far as expected, as I am very keen to start my new story The Shattered World. Maybe a few more parts, but I will try to make the Shattered World go on for a long time (maybe a part every other week?)

I also have a short review on a new game that I preordered: Halo 3 ODST. This is my summary:

The only thing worth getting from it is the Multiplayer Disk (that gives you every Map Pack on Halo 3).

I don't expect many to know what that means, but oh well.

Monday, 28 September 2009

Chronicles of Torture - Part 3

It was a perfectly normal day for Jake. He was simply walking to his work when it happened. First he began to feel dizzy. Then his sight went blurry, until suddenly a pressure so great took hold of Jake, causing pain to blossom in every part of his body. A black limo pulled up next to him and he was thrown inside. Unconsciousness claimed him then.


"Wake up, Jake"
The voice was cold and sinister, yet somehow it felt welcoming and made you want to obey it.
"Stand Up"
It was no longer welcoming, but demanding.
"I said STAND UP!"
Jake stood up. He was in a small room with a single light in the middle. Everything else was covered in darkness.
"You have been digging too deep into Black Row's business, so I see no reason for you to know a little bit more. My name is Tommyfer Lawdry, and I'm sure you know about our master plan, do you not?"
Jake nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak.
"And that is why I am telling you more. However much you know, I will make sure that you will be put into excruitiating pain, squeezed of all your information and knowledge before we finally put you out of your misery."
Jake didn't move, but he knew what Lawdry was saying. Lawdry saw the fear in Jake's eyes.
"That's right: You're going to die."

The Revolution has a new leader

From now on, I will try to post at least ONCE on Dementia everyday. Mania will be posted on more often as well, so please check it at:

My next post will be, in a few minutes, the next part of the Chronicles of Torture.

Mundooty, or Mundooteh?

That's right, the fabled Elin Greene, the Blue Hamster of Lammington (Is that right? Please tell me) has started a new blog. You can visit it now at

I'm also putting advertising onto Dementia! If you want anything published, I will post an advertisment as long as it is considered worthy.

I have a Table Tennis Table now. Ha.

Monday, 24 August 2009

Chronicles Of Torture - Part 2

Sorry about the delay, but the second part is here! Hopefully I've been able to shed some more light on the company this story is based around. I've just been waiting for the right moment...

No one ever messes with Black Row. It is like a law that every company follows, one that is unknown but still kept to. Black Row's business is its own, and no one outside is going to change that. But Jake never listens to anyones warnings about the company; his greed for money and wealth victorious over his fear of the worlds most harsh business. He was set about it: He would scam Black Row and rise to the top of his career. There could be no greater achievement in his life.

Not much is known about what happens within Black Row's walls. Some people say that they create new weapons and sell them to the highest bidder. Others suggest that they experiment on diseases to benefit against a furture outbreak. No one knows for sure, as the workers are rarely seen and they don't release anything if they are found.

As Jake began to hack into this company, he thought 'This is easy. I bet anyone could get through this security with the right equipment'. That was until he found a secret. Something so important and deadly that it could send the world into a Post Apocalypse of sorts. The screen went blank. Then it flashed with the words:


Monday, 3 August 2009

Back from the Dead

That's right, Zombies have struck again. They now control the 'Waffenfabrik Der Riese' factory in Berlin, and their onslaught is spreading to here and there and everywhere. It has also been revealed that there was an attack of zombies in Japan a while ago. However, the more worrying fact about this attack is that it was not Nazis, but Imperialists (Japanese). And another type of Zombie seems to have turned up: The Dreaded 'Hell Hounds' (above). These flaming dogs will run at you and try to bite you, then blow up when you finally...kill...them (again). I regret to say that these dogs have turned up at the Der Riese factory in Berlin. And, for the first time ever, I HAVE VIDEO EVIDENCE!!! Resistance is futile.

Friday, 31 July 2009


It's just occurred to me: Dementia hasn't had a post for ages. But no worry, I haven't forgotton about it, I just spend my time doing other stuff.

In other news, the post before this one has the most comments on my whole blog! Yay! If people could keep randomly commenting on it, IT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED!!

Tuesday, 21 July 2009


This is just a quick message: I am challenging Pc Plod in followers just for the sake of it. If you read this blog but do not follow me, START NOW!!! I only need another 4 people to equal the followers. THANK YOU!!


Saturday, 18 July 2009

Chronicles of Torture - Part 1

Having two lives is never was easy. At Jake's work, he was by far the best. His ultimate knowledge of computers and technology led him to be second-best, only beaten by his boss. In his more private life, he was a master at computer hacking. His extensive knowledge could get him through any security program and find the most sensitive information. Jake had already taken down two companies and had started to blackmail a third when he hacked the wrong system.

25th January 2009: 4 days before the incident

"Jake, great work on the advertisment boosting. Our company is almost as good as it can go, seeing that 2 have already gone bankrupt. With a little more improvment, you'll soon get a pay rise."
It was the only reason The Boss came into the main work office, to congratulate Jake. Although everyone knew his name, he was always called 'The Boss'. It was name that reeked of domination and command. Anyone who did stand up to The Boss was fired immediatly. That was how the system worked, and that was how it would stay as long as he was in charge.
"Thank you, Sir."
"No problem. Well, your shift as finished today. I want you to go home and research other companies methods of work and see how we can improve ours."

And that was how it started. Jake had gone home and started hacking into the best company there was. The company that seemed unbeatable. The company...known as Black Row.

Sunday, 12 July 2009

Swine Flu in Guildford

Swine Flu, now it is in Guildford. I make no jokes in this post, as Swine Flu has become a serious Pandemic and has spread into almost every country. I have heard that it is now in Guildford. But are these just rumours? Above, there is a picture of the basic Swine Flu (H1N1) virus. The unique thing about this is that it actually contains BIRD FLU. Usually, a virus can be found with certain strains. We have vaccines and medecines against most of these. However, it is when two of these strains mix that causes a virus that could potentionally become a Pandemic (the name for a virus that has gone global). Most people who have had Swine Flu in the UK have survived; the people who have died had bad health problems already. There are over 7400 cases in the UK alone, but only 15 deaths.

Swine Flu isn't as dangerous as it could be YET, but by next year it may become one of the biggest killers in the world. But hope is not lost yet. Scientists claim that they have a vaccine for Swine Flu, but this vaccine may not yet work. The only other option that COULD work is to build your own defence against. That's right, I mean to CONTRACT SWINE FLU.

To the left is a picture of Swine Flu (or Avian Flu as you might hear it). Swine Flu is weak at the moment, so as long as you have no health problems is it really so bad to get it? If you get it now, you have a very high chance of survival and you will become immune to it. If you get it later, you have a very high chance of dying.

I know this post sounds gloomy and depressing, but Swine Flu is important and everybody should know about it. Symptoms are rather like the common cold, but very mild. No one really needs to worry about Swine Flu yet; just put it aside and worry about other stuff, such as homework and the threat of an Alien Invasion.

I hope this will help to reassure people that Swine Flu isn't as bad as Government say it is.

Saturday, 11 July 2009

The Polls are in!

That's right, the Poll for Dementia is over! Three people voted for the New Dementia, one for the Old (and I really want to know who that was), meaning that the New Dementia is greater than ever! Until the next change in a few years.

In other news, there is a NEW POLL ONLINE!!! I will be writing the 'Chronicles of Torture' soon, so I really need a method of Torture for the story. Only vote once, though, or it wouldn't work.

Monday, 6 July 2009

A Message from the Stars?

I think I've heard this name somewhere before, but don't blame me if it was one of your post names (looking at you, Mark). Anyway:

I was having a great weekend. It had come to the end of Saturday when it happened. I was playing a game on my computer when my mum rushed in and said:

"Edward, Richard, parachutes are falling from the sky."

Naturally, I was intrigued. One of my most favourite topics is Space and the Universe. I went outside to investigate. Once there, I found and picked up a rather strange object. It was indeed shaped like a parachute, only much smaller. I then spent the rest of the night running around outside with a lamp inside the parachute shouting "Beware, I am a GHOST!"

And I believe that is the end of the matter.

P.S. If you want to know more about this, you have to speak to me in person.

Friday, 3 July 2009

New Dementia

Well, tis over. I have changed Dementia so that it will (hopefully) be better. Most of the gadgets are the same, but I have added a few new ones from the little (interesting ones) they had. Take some time to explore, and prepare for the secret of the Future...

Thursday, 2 July 2009

A Note before the Change

I have only had Dementia for a few months, but I am getting bored of the layout already. This is one of the many reasons I have for Change. Except, I'm worried that all of my posts will be deleted, including Patient X and my various reports of Nazi Zombies.

However, a solution is at hand. We cannot dwindle in the past for too long; we must always face the futue eventually. So I am glad to say that the New Dementia will have a new poll, a new story and the same name, as well as a few extra gadgets! You are welcome to copy down Patient X, as long as you give it to me to put back on later. Also, the construction date has changed to the 3rd - 7th July. Do NOT visit Dementia between these dates!!!

Monday, 29 June 2009

A note about the video

I was, unfortunatley, unable to find Communist Christmas for viewers, so I have had to resort to the second option: The Ultimate Showdown.

What happens next?

I'm not actually sure about the future of Dementia. Patient X took up most of my time and it was something interesting to read. So what happens now? I have no real idea, but I might try to redecorate Dementia (change its layout, colours etc.) If this doesn't go wrong, a new Dementia will shine in all its, erm, madness! Please to do NOT visit this blog between 5th and the 10th of July, it might take that long to design.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Patient X - Part 5

I have thought long and hard for an ending to Patient X. I have always had an idea of how it will end, and idea that will be revealed in this part. All the time I have been writing, I have been leading up to an ending that grew in my head since Part 1. Now, the end shall be made clear in this part. This one, last part.


Jamie got up. A moment ago, he was being beaten to death by Tommy. Now, he had no idea where he was. No Tommy, no blood, no people, nothing. Just a dull, white colour. And a woman moaning. Jamie stared at this woman. She had no facial details, and she was bent over with tears constantly running down her cheeks. As Jamie moved to comfort her, he heard a voice.
"Hello, Jamie."
It couldn't be. Not here, not in such a remote place.
"Jamie, I have to talk to you."
Jamie turned around. It was Rebecca.
"Where are we? How did I get here?"
"It is very...complicated", Rebecca answered "...but I will do my best to explain. You haven't woken up from the incident. You are still in Hospital, still in a coma from the crash."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Jamie couldn't be in a coma. This all felt so...real.
"You weren't ready. After you were attacked by Tommy, you finally gave in. You, Jamie, are on the brink of life and death. The whole world you have been living in since you woke up is a figment of your mind."
Jamie tried to take this all in, but he couldn't. All of a sudden, the mind inside his head, his FALSE mind, began to fill hollow.
"If this is all in my mind, then what are you?" This was the only thing Jamie could fit inside his head.
"I symbolise your Will to Live. I have been helping you to recover. When you wake up, IF you wake up, you will see me but I will not know you." A strange answer, but Jamie had another question.
"What about Tommy, what is he?"
"Your Will to Die."
Jamie couldn't talk. The life he had been living was stolen from him, replaced by a fake world of lies and death. He didn't know what to do. Only Rebecca could help him now.
"You have a choice," she continued "either carry on your new life and stay asleep or wake and return to your parents. And before you ask, they are still alive in the real world."
Jamie thought hard about this. Waking up would bring him back to his parents, but he would have real pain and real suffering. Here, he could do what he wanted to and control it. As that thought came into his head, he could see the outlines of Tommy, and faintly hear his voice. The womans moaning crew louder, yet more distant.
"Your choice, Jamie."
"Please, I just want to go home."


Three people stood around the bed in the Hospital. One was a man, supporting a woman who was constantly moaning. The other was woman, obviously a nurse, but she was showing no emotion. There was a constant beat coming from a life support machine, but it gave way to a long, loud drone.The nurse spoke.
"I am sorry for your loss, but there was nothing more we could do. Jamie must have been a good son, but we could not keep him alive any longer."
"Do not worry, Rebecca, I am sure you did everything you could, and I am sure Kaytie knows that too."
Kaytie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. They all began to leavem when the machine flared back into life and a new beat started. Slowly, Jamie opened his eyes.
"Rebecca, REBECCA! HE'S AWAKE!" Kaytie started shouting, rushed over to Jamie and gave him a big kiss on the forehead.
"Hello, mum." It was all Jamie could say.


"Jamie, it is about time we spoke about the incident." It was Kaytie speaking. A few days after Jamie had truly woken up, he had left the Hospital. But those days were not boring, for he had explained his half of the story.
"You had very nearly finished the Race when you had blacked out. You told me about it. You had gone blind for a few moments but had still won. I saw that mean bully Tommy sneer at you, and I only realised what it meant at the Hospital. He hated the fact that you had won, and he wanted revenge. We had got into the car when he had crashed his into us. I and your father were alright, but you smashed your head on something that took you out. You were rushed to Hospital immediatly. Since then, I had been by your side until your near death and your eventually awakening. You were in coma for 32 days."
Jamie took all this in, the last pieces of the puzzle falling into place. It was all because he had won a Race, and a bad loser who couldn't control his rage and lust for revenge.

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Patient X - Part 4

Rebecca and Jamie were sitting around a coffee table in a yellow living room. It was too much like a waiting room for Jamie's liking.
"So, I presume you know that your parents are on holiday?", Rebecca was saying, sipping a cup of tea at every break.
"This is, in fact, a LIE. Your parents are dead. They died in the car crash, but you survived. This note..." she held it up" fake. I wrote it with the hope that you wouldn't find out the truth, at least not until you were ready." All through the speech, she was slowly opening the note. It was too depressing for Jamie. Tears began to well up in his eyes.
"You need to rest, Jamie. Carry on with your life. I will check up on you everyday to make sure you are alright. You might want to stay off school for a few days." Rebecca got up and left the room. Jamie was so upset he didn't even hear the front door close.


Jamie returned to school a week later. As Rebecca had promised, she had visited him everyday to make sure he was alright. The only thing he was really dreading was Tommy.
"Oi, Ginger! I see yer back today. What's wrong? Upset about yer parents death?"
Jamie froze. He was prepared with an insult, but it slipped away.
"What? How do you know about that?" Jamie was determined not to break down, especially when a crowd was forming.
"Yeah, I know what happened to yer parents, but I ain't going soft on you!" Tommy aimed a kick at Jamie's leg and tripped him up. While Jamie was down, Tommy started to kick Jamie in the stomach, and didn't stop. The kicks were getting harder. Blood and vomit flecked the ground.
"Please, just let me die..." Jamie whispered to himself. Then, everything went white.

Read, and decide

Do you like chocolate? Most people do. However, what if you were told that people had started adding spices to chocolate? What would you say? To start with, I thought that this was a bad idea and that spice and chocolate should never mix. So, I brought it upon myself to see if it really mattered. After a hard time working last night, I finally came out with 3 bags of truffles, each with one of the following:


When I actually tried one of each, I was amazed. You don't get the spice instantly, but it certainly fits in well, especially Cinnamon. So, what do you think of Spiced Chocolate?

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

How will Patient X end?

This is the same question I thought to myself, over and over again whilst sucking an Aniseed Ball and playing 'Chasm Spasm'. Will he be hit by another car? Will he change his name and be run over by an aeroplane? Or will he be attacked by zombies? I have decided to hold a vote on this question, featuring many different endings that will appear in my mind. Vote once, vote twice, but only twice overwise it will mess everything up. Also, get others to join and you will get a special prize!

Friday, 19 June 2009

Followers of the glorius Turd!

Yep, this is a serious discussion about blogs. Hopefully, Mark, you will not be offended by any hairist comments in Patient X Part 3. Honestly, I was stuck for ideas.

As for you, Tommy, I have found a way to remember your blog:

tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 bagger288 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233 tomo233

That took ages: I couldn't copy and paste.

Patient X - Part 3

"Oi, Ginger! Heard you had fun in 'ospital, didn't yah?" It was typical of the school bully, Tommy, to pick on Jamie because of his ginger hair. After the short conversation with Rebecca, Jamie hadd stayed in hospital for another few days, before returing to school to catch up with work. It was as if nothing had ever happened. As if he had never been hit by
"Ginger, I'm talking to you!"
However intent Tommy was to get Jamies spirits down, it was never going to happen.
'Just keep walking', Jamie told himself. It was the end of the day and he just wanted to get home. Back to his parents, back to his games, back to his old life.
"You shouldn't 'ave kept me waiting!"
Jamie twisted around before he finally fell to the floor. Tommy had punched him in the face with such ferocity, his nose seemed to be broken and was bleeding badly. Why couldn't he just be left alone?
"What was that for?", Jamie yelled.
"You deserved it, after" Tommy kicked Jamie in the stomach "...that bloody Race." Picking himself up, Jamie pondered this reply.


"Mum! Dad! I'm home!" No answer. On the walk back from school, Jamie had cleaned up his nose. It wasn't broken, just badly swollen. He'd also need to change his shirt later. Flecks of blood and vomit would be an obvious sign of a fight.
No answer.
Still no answer.
Jamie checked first his downstairs room, then upstairs where his mum and dad sleeped. He had never thought to himself about the rooms, their varying sizes and furniture, the different colours ranging from Red to Purple. Checking his bedroom door, he found a note. Reading it, he finally worked out why there was no answer:

'Dear Jamie,'

'We decided to leave you this note, just incase you wondered where we are. I am afraid to say that we have taken a small holiday, not that long, just a few weeks. We stayed with you in hospital, but we passed away on holiday after a few days of no recovery. When we heard that you had woken up, we were overjoyed. I'm afraid we won't be back in time to take you from school, so you will have to walk. We should be back by the 16th July.'

Obivously a note from his mother, but not in her hand. Maybe his dad had written it, but it wasn't in his pen. It also carried a strange, hygenic smell Jamie had smelt before, but he didn't know where from. Putting that aside, he reread the note again and again, trying to grasp some knowledge from it. His parents had always spoken about a holiday, but not for so long. Leaving him behind would save money and his wouldn't exactly have been able to enjoy it.
"The 16th of July! That's tomorrow!" Jamie exclaimed. He was on his own until then. After a few hours of work, he finally went to bed, struggling to sleep as he was so excited.


Not bothering to face school and Tommy, Jamie had stayed at home. He had also overslept, as it was about 2 o'clock anyway. *Knock Knock* Someone was at the door! It had to be his parents! Pulling clothes on over his nightwear, he rushed downstairs to the front door.
"Mum! It's so great to..." he trailed off. It wasn't his parents at all. It was Rebecca.
"Ahh, Jamie, I thought you would be here. Do you know how to make tea? We need to have a long discussion about current issues."


Sunday, 14 June 2009

Another strike from the Dead

Yep, it's happened again. But this time, it isn't Nazis. No, this time, it's the Japanese. That's right, the zombies have struck again at a swamp in Japan somewhere (I forget it's name). I urge anyone who reads this blog and anyone who doesn't to prepare for another attack. It could come from any direction in any form.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Patient X - Part 2

Jamie got up. He had been asleep for more than a month, about 32 days to be precise. How could any sort of accident in a race knock him out for so long? He couldn't even remember what had happened exactly. He would have to find someone who did. As that thought sprung into his head, someone suddenly burst into the room.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realise you were awake." The voice came from a woman and, looking at the way she was dressed, Jamie guessed that she was a nurse.
"How did I get here?", he asked, shocked at how the answer came out croaked rather than confident.
"About...ahh...32 days ago you had an accident. You've been asleep since then. Since the car hit you", the nurse replied, a name tag around her neck announcing her as Rebecca. "But don't worry; most of your bones have healed well, but you make take a while to get over your Amnesia". Jamie pondered this reply. The Race had nothing to do with it, so why did his memory stop before the finish line? How did he get hit by a car? Why did it happen? And why did Rebecca seem to be hiding something from him?

Friday, 5 June 2009

Monday, 1 June 2009

Patient X - Part 1

He was nearly there. After a few minutes of pain and agony, he had nearly finished. Drawing on energy reserves he never knew he had, Jamie sprinted to the finish line and, hopefully, first place in the race. But that was when everything went wrong. That was when it happened.
Jamie woke up. How long had he been asleep? The last thing he could remember was the race, then everything went black and now he was here. 'Where am I?' he thought as his senses suddenly returned. Looking around, he took in everything he saw. The bed, the watch on a bedside table. The patients chart on the door. He was in hospital, and he didn't even know why. Jamie checked the watch, scanning his mind for that last memory: The Race. That had happened on the 9th June. The watch said it was the 10th...of July.


Yep, everyone on Blogspot is doing it: Create a Story. And now, I give you.... (see the next blog).

Saturday, 30 May 2009

The 'Truth'

I may have a small confession to make, as Bo- I mean Mark Geranium has made an annoucement. His name is not Bob, but you will not be getting refunds for the badges you may have bought off me. These are Marks own words:

Obviously, you have to click the link and then read the post.

!!!Badges for Sale!!!

Do you support Mark Geranium? Do you want everyone to know? Do you even know who he is? If the answer to all of these is yes, buy the all new MG badges. They now say 'Support Mark Geranium'! Add them to your older version 'Support Bob Geranium' and be amazed. Only 50p for one badge! Isn't that a great deal?

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Mark Geranium

Have you ever heard of the legendary MARK GERANIUM???? If not, then you're stupid and you don't deserve to read this. No, I mean it. Look away NOW!!

If you do know him, then I guess you will also know that he is leader of France, Prime Minister for Austrailia and Creator of the internet. He has been around since 1284, the time when you could buy a burger at McDonalds and then have to hunt it yourself. But he is much more than an overage ruler, he is an inspiration to everyone who reads his blogs (except for me, I don't get any ideas). And here he is, the legendary Mark Geranium! (Look at the top).

Don't insult him for being a big explosion, he is very sensitive.

Friday, 15 May 2009

Swine Flu

As I am sure everyone knows (apart from little children, because they are stupid), there is a Virus going around called SWINE FLU. Now, hopefully you don't believe what they tell you on the News, because they want to cover up the TRUTH. That's right, Swine Flu is not serious, it is a JOKE.

But a good joke at that, because it turns the victim into a pig (unless they already are one). Honestly, they do. My views are supported by MARK GERANIUM, obviously the greatest (and most insane) person in the world.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Nazi Zombies

You may not know yet, but they are coming! Nazi Zombies are here to take back what they lost! I'm sure many of you know that the Germans lost the Second World War, but the Nazis who died before the end didn't. Now, they are attempting to reclaim Germany and take over the world (and yes, they are led by Hitler again). The first reported sighting came from Peleliu Island, somewhere near Japan or in that general region. The second attack happened at an Asylum in Berlin. No fÜhrer attacks have been reported yet (mind you, this is the year 2013, so do you really expect the News to be great?)

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Welcome to Dementia!

If you are like me, then you will probably feel at home here. This is the realm of those to...weird... for society and have been cast aside as freaks. Anyway, back to normal life. My name is Dimitri Karkarov, and I hope that I will be able to make a difference from here. Please visit my news page for updates that might come out a year after they had become known, or maybe they won't come out at all.


When you recieve a Chain Message, what do you do? Do you delete it? Or do you just forget about it? In some cases, people actually BELIEVE what they are told in a Chain Message. In the past, I have recieved a few that mention VERY bloody deaths, and this is NOT acceptable. They say stuff like "Tomorrow you will have incredibly bad luck" or "fill this out and recieve everlasting good luck". Once, one of my friends showed me a message that the emailer had said was going around since 1889!!! This is IMPOSSIBLE, as the internet was never created then! Chain Messages are just SPAM, so don't open them; delete them but NEVER send them on!!