Monday, 16 November 2009

Some shameless self-advertising...

The new part of the Anarchist is out! And a lot of stuff gets explained.

So get yourself on, read it, enjoy it, and post a comment!

The part after shall be up shortly. I've sorted out some loose ends in my mind, and I have a very definite idea of what's going to be happening next. I am almost certain that I'll finish this story by the end of the year...

Sunday, 15 November 2009

The Shattered World Part 2 - Eyes of the Shadow

I just finished typing a comment to Kaytei about no time when I realised I DID have time! Yay! Here is the next part.

The figure just crept there, watching Rebecca. Never before had it taken so much interest in any single mortal, for it had always hunted them down for sport and food. Infact, this creature HAD been human once, but that was many years ago. It had broken out of its prison about 79 years ago. It could not remember its own name, so it had adopted the title 'Yarofev'. As he watched, for he was certain he used to be a male in the past, he carefully took in all the details of Rebecca's current life. He had heard her name before, something about her sparked a memory within him. But what was it?

Yarofev turned around. Not the slow turning as if you looking for something, but fast as if you had heard something behind you. He did. There, infront of him, hidden by darkness, were a pair of glowing yellow eyes. The eyes of a Zombie.

For any human in this situation of fight or flight, they would have run. But Yarofev was no longer a human. He raised his hand above his head. As it lifted, it slowly transformed into a huge, razor-sharp claw. He brought it down upon the Zombie, slicing it into maybe pieces that could do no harm if anything of the original conscience was still there.

Yarofev turned back to face Rebecca, crouched down and waited. Zombies do not taste that great, and they are really troublesome when you are trying to do something important. A minor disturbance, that's all they are.

To Yarofev...

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Swingland Swine Flu Kit

I would ask Mark to put this up as a newspaper article, but I thought he might be busy doing other stuff. It might not be the Shattered World, but I actually WROTE THIS IN MY ENGLISH BOOK FOR SWINGLAND!!!

With Swine Flu in the UK, it's now more important than ever to look after your children. That's why we tested a few products to see which was the best in defending your family:

>Dettol anti-bacterial spray
>Swingland Swine Flu Kit
>Rebecca Mann's Manly Protection

We tested all of these, and we can truthfully say that Swingland Swine Flu Kit was the best out of all of them! The Dettol Spray successfully killed 99.9% of the Swine Flu disease, but that wasn't enough. Our dear rat Jimmy won't be running again aby time soon.

Rebecca Manns' Manly Protector didn't do any better. After one spray of that stuff, the second rat, Tommy, simply fell over and died.

However, Swingland Swine Flu Kit successfully protected our third rat, Jaffar, and kept him completely safe from the disease!

The Kit is simple. You get:

>Three packets of tissues impregnated with anti-bacterial wash. When crushed, these release a lavender-tyme scent that clears your nose.

>A small mask that covers your nose and mouth, also imbedded with disinfectant.

>A bacteria killing deoderant that kills 100% of all known germs, and 20% of he unknown ones!

>And a handwash that kills 99.999999999999999999999% of all known germs, and all the unknown ones! Of course, we don't know the unknown ones, so we can't tell.

Swingland Swine Flu Kit is the best way to protect protect protect your family family family. Only £4.99, it's available in your local chemist*. After all, you don't want to get Swine Flu do you?

Swingland Swine Flu Kit was made and designed entirely by Richard Osman, but it was named after Ms. Swingland as everyone thought she had Swine Flu at the time.

*People in Yorkshire get it free.

Saturday, 7 November 2009


Since I successfully managed to put a video on here, I have been choosing another one that is worthy to be on Dementia.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

It's Part 2, But It's Not The Shattered World

Isn't it strange how most of my post titles are in capitals? Wahey, two posts very close to eachother! I take it you enjoyed the game, Mark?

Anyway, this second post is simply me learning more about Blogspot and how I can use it for propaganda for my new army of *cough* I mean improve Dementia, then the army part. If THIS works, you should be able to watch a rather strange video about the history of Germany... A quick note: you won't understand any of this unless you've seen The Producers.

Not If I Have Something To Say About It

It has recently come to my attention that you can add games to your blof. If this works, I don't have anything to say. Please give me feedback on whether or not you were actually able to play the game that should, hopefully, turn up below.

Games at - Cheese Dreams
Cheese Dreams

Help the Moon escape from the ship run by Space Mice!

Play this free game now!!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

The Shattered World Part 1 - Terror In The Past

100 years ago, a company tried to take over the world. This attempt at power was led by an individual known as Tommyfer Lawdry. He was a reckless man. You know the tubes and alveoli inside the lungs? It was said he had many wax versions hung up in his office. He planned to take over the Government using a Mind Control Drug. It nearly worked. He took half he world before he was stopped. Unfortunatley, all weapons used against him were nuclear, and the result had destroyed economy and civilisation.

The world was in Anarchy. If you could call it that. By day, survivors searched for food and supplies. By night, zombies roamed the streets, trying to find and consume those who hadn't been as careful as they should have been. And there was always the robed figure...

Rebecca woke up. Since she was born, she had been boarded up in her house to keep her safe from the Zombies. When she was just aging 17, she had been found by a group of people, and she owed her life to them. Their names were John, Christian, Sarah, Tommy and Emily. They had taken her from her prison and looked after her.

It was time for her shift. Every night, one person would take two hours to look out for trouble. All nights had recently been uneventful, but they could never relax their guard. The tinest mistake and they could all be killed.

As Rebecca walked down a corridor, she stopped to picture up two weapons: a pistol and a shotgun. Her favourites, they had saved her life before. Doubtless they would be needed again. Just because the world had stopped spinning, it didn't mean that the Zombies would stop coming.

As she reached her post, she looked out over a field of darkness. She saw nothing, just as she had for the last few weeks. But, far away, a pair of bright white eyes followed her every movement...