Sunday 28 June 2009

Patient X - Part 5

I have thought long and hard for an ending to Patient X. I have always had an idea of how it will end, and idea that will be revealed in this part. All the time I have been writing, I have been leading up to an ending that grew in my head since Part 1. Now, the end shall be made clear in this part. This one, last part.

PATIENT X - PART 5

Jamie got up. A moment ago, he was being beaten to death by Tommy. Now, he had no idea where he was. No Tommy, no blood, no people, nothing. Just a dull, white colour. And a woman moaning. Jamie stared at this woman. She had no facial details, and she was bent over with tears constantly running down her cheeks. As Jamie moved to comfort her, he heard a voice.
"Hello, Jamie."
It couldn't be. Not here, not in such a remote place.
"Jamie, I have to talk to you."
Jamie turned around. It was Rebecca.
"Where are we? How did I get here?"
"It is very...complicated", Rebecca answered "...but I will do my best to explain. You haven't woken up from the incident. You are still in Hospital, still in a coma from the crash."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Jamie couldn't be in a coma. This all felt so...real.
"You weren't ready. After you were attacked by Tommy, you finally gave in. You, Jamie, are on the brink of life and death. The whole world you have been living in since you woke up is a figment of your mind."
Jamie tried to take this all in, but he couldn't. All of a sudden, the mind inside his head, his FALSE mind, began to fill hollow.
"If this is all in my mind, then what are you?" This was the only thing Jamie could fit inside his head.
"I symbolise your Will to Live. I have been helping you to recover. When you wake up, IF you wake up, you will see me but I will not know you." A strange answer, but Jamie had another question.
"What about Tommy, what is he?"
"Your Will to Die."
Jamie couldn't talk. The life he had been living was stolen from him, replaced by a fake world of lies and death. He didn't know what to do. Only Rebecca could help him now.
"You have a choice," she continued "either carry on your new life and stay asleep or wake and return to your parents. And before you ask, they are still alive in the real world."
Jamie thought hard about this. Waking up would bring him back to his parents, but he would have real pain and real suffering. Here, he could do what he wanted to and control it. As that thought came into his head, he could see the outlines of Tommy, and faintly hear his voice. The womans moaning crew louder, yet more distant.
"Your choice, Jamie."
"Please, I just want to go home."

******************************************

Three people stood around the bed in the Hospital. One was a man, supporting a woman who was constantly moaning. The other was woman, obviously a nurse, but she was showing no emotion. There was a constant beat coming from a life support machine, but it gave way to a long, loud drone.The nurse spoke.
"I am sorry for your loss, but there was nothing more we could do. Jamie must have been a good son, but we could not keep him alive any longer."
"Do not worry, Rebecca, I am sure you did everything you could, and I am sure Kaytie knows that too."
Kaytie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. They all began to leavem when the machine flared back into life and a new beat started. Slowly, Jamie opened his eyes.
"Rebecca, REBECCA! HE'S AWAKE!" Kaytie started shouting, rushed over to Jamie and gave him a big kiss on the forehead.
"Hello, mum." It was all Jamie could say.

********************************************

"Jamie, it is about time we spoke about the incident." It was Kaytie speaking. A few days after Jamie had truly woken up, he had left the Hospital. But those days were not boring, for he had explained his half of the story.
"You had very nearly finished the Race when you had blacked out. You told me about it. You had gone blind for a few moments but had still won. I saw that mean bully Tommy sneer at you, and I only realised what it meant at the Hospital. He hated the fact that you had won, and he wanted revenge. We had got into the car when he had crashed his into us. I and your father were alright, but you smashed your head on something that took you out. You were rushed to Hospital immediatly. Since then, I had been by your side until your near death and your eventually awakening. You were in coma for 32 days."
Jamie took all this in, the last pieces of the puzzle falling into place. It was all because he had won a Race, and a bad loser who couldn't control his rage and lust for revenge.

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Well there it is. Although I enjoyed writing this, I daresay I might not write again until I have a good idea and plot. Also, I want to thank a few people:

    First, Mark Geranium who inspired me to write Patient X.

    Second, a friend called Tommy who has an opposite life to the bully.

    And finally, Kaytei for helping pull the ending together (I really needed to have Jamie's mother, or it wouldn't have worked.)

    Also, I want to post a little note. Throughout Patient X, I have resisted ideas that would have made it mental. One I want to note is:

    'Jamie took all this in, when suddenly a horde of Nazi Zombies ran inside, picked him up and tore his head off!'

    It took all my willpower to stop that from happening!

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  3. Well.

    That was definitely NOT the ending I was expecting. Extremely deep and yet makes sense with the rest of the story.

    And as for the Nazi Zombie thing, I know how you feel. Bloody Clyde is annoying me so much that I was considering putting Nazi Zombies in the red room.

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  4. ...wha!? i'm Jamie's 'WILL TO DIE'!?!? i'm not THAT bad, even in the ficional world. i can understand my characters motives, and I assure you he's mereley beating jamie because he feels misunderstood. if one of the characters would just console him about his life's difficulties, he'd be a new man!

    XD

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  5. No offense Tommy, but it doesn't have to represent you. It could merely be a different Tommy, as it could easily be a different Kaytei or Jamie, but in a self-centred way we immediately associate these fictional characters with people that already exist.

    If I wrote a book and called the main character Bill Gates, it doesn't mean he's a retired computing billionaire! I could make him a tramp and it would make no difference, regardless of his name.

    Sorry, I must end this rant now...

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